No Trolls Left behind

Dhaka Diaries /19thOct/2018

Ever since I saw the movie “Trolls “ with my daughter , I have been thinking about  writing this piece. Trolls is a 2016 American computer animated film based on the Trolls doll created by Thomas Dam.The  movie was made with a budget of USD 125 millions made a whopping 350 millions at the box office. A little bit googling will tell you that a Troll doll is a type of plastic doll with furry up combed hair. Troll dolls were originally created in 1959 by a Danish fisherman and woodcutter Thomas Dam. Dam could not afford a Christmas gift for his young daughter Lila and carved the doll from his imagination. As per one folklore Troll is an ugly cave-dwelling creature depicted as either a giant or a dwarf.

In the movie plot “Trolls” are shown as the happiest creatures ever known to have lived in the history. They sing and dance and hug all day.  They lived in the Happy forest in the Happy tree. At the same time there lived another race caled -Bergens. The Bergens are a race who were the most miserable creatures in the world. They did not know how to sing, dance or hug. One day the Trolls were discovered by a Bergens. When they saw how happy the trolls were, they wanted some of the happiness for themselves. They felt that eating a troll made them feel so happy. So strong was this view that they started a tradition - once a year every year the Bergins will gather around the troll tree to taste happiness on a holiday they called Trollstice. It was that one day for the Bergins to be happy. So just like all other Trollstice the Bergens gathered around the troll tree and wanted the Bergen Prince Gristle Jr to taste the most happiest, most postitive and tastiest troll Princes Poppy. But the Trolls, led by their king, King Peppy, with his baby daughter, Princess Poppy, escape through underground tunnels on the day of Trollistic when Prince Gristle Jr. was going to eat his first Troll. The king Peppy ensured that “No Trolls left behind “. Not getting a chance to eat a Troll the Bergen Prince Gristle Jr asks his father, what is going to make him happy now, the father remarks that “he is never ever going to be happy again “. He remains unhappy for 20 years, before something changes in his life!

Friends, just like the Bergens in the movie “Trolls” we all want to be happy. Absolutely no harm in that, every individual is born to live happy. But the mistake the Bergens did was the way they thought they could be happy.  They saw the Trolls living happy singing, dancing and hugging every hour, and in comparison, they were miserable and desperately wanted to be happy. Their way of getting happiness was wrong. Was eating a Troll only way to be happy?

My intension in writing this story is not to explain this old folklore of Trolls and Bergens. When I look around into my society, family, relationships, neighborhood and professional life, I see Bergens everywhere. The way these Bergens around me wants to get happiness is even more complex than the legend, where they at least had a belief that eating a Trolls would make them happy. The present day Bergens aren’t even aware where lies their true happiness. They are more miserable than the old Bergens. Just as Prince Gristle Jr believes his father that he can never ever be happy without eating a troll, the present day Bergens also has their specific stigmas attached with them that would make them happy.  Let’s try to classify these Bergens in our life

1.      Compare Bergen:  One of the easiest way to feel bad about oneself is to compare yourself to others. We always get tempted to compare ourselves with people around who are more attractive, make more money and better off in life. You feel envious of others and get into the inferiority complex. In phycological term it is called negative social comparison. This is the expressway to get into unhappiness.  If one gets into the habit of negative comparison it may lead to anxiety, depression and can have a domino effect into many complexities in life.

Antidote for Compare Bergens is to stop comparing with others. We may be jealous with a friend who has a perfect career, or a perfect family life, and good asset base. Just look at them with a more balances perspective, you may realise they do have their share of challenges in life. An old saying says "To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."

2.      Aspire Bergens: This type is seen right from our school days to college and even in professions. It is always good to aspire high in life, make the right moves towards the aspiration and but most important is to define the right outcomes. Many a time, our aspiration are much more than the expected outcomes. The potential dangers of dreaming big and aspiring high are notable in academic domains and career alike. Many a time it may happen that our existing qualities and abilities may not match the ideal qualities required to reach the aspiration. Failure to reach the aspiration may lead to emotional discomfort, dejection and disappointment.

Antidote for Aspire Bergens is not to have outsized expectation. Between your aspiration and expectation have the cushion of hope. Hope has lot of strength in making you feel good about the future. With hope, you experience more positivity about future event or outcomes which is uncertain. This will make you more productive and help you to mobilize your energy better

3.      ‘Living in the Past’ Bergen: These are the people who choose to live in the past, because they feel they enjoy the old association. There may be many reason for this. A few examples may a royal decent to boost of, an enriching heritage or a present which is not looking as promising as the past has been. Most often it is the challenges of the present time that makes us feel bad and takes us back to the past. It’s fine to have the reminiscence of the past but you cannot continue to live in that past. Living in the past allows to avoid dealing with issues in the present. You get stuck in life and start to believe that the best days are behind you forever. Get over it soon. The past will not get you anything other than the sorry feeling of not being so good and restrains you from enjoying what’s there at present.

Antidote for ‘Living in the Past ‘Bergen is to live in the present moment honestly. Just imagine that you won’t live this moment again. Happy or sad this is the moment that is with you and you must make the best of it.  If you are happy let the happiness spread, and if you are sad that too is your moment and remember you do not control fate.

4.      ‘I am Unlucky’ Bergens: There are people who become miserable by allowing their thinking to get stuck in perpetual negative mode and succumb to a victim mindset. In whatever we do in life, there is always a fifty percent chance of passing or failing. It may be pure coincidence that the unfavorable part is touching your life again and again or maybe you are playing it wrong every time. Either you succeed or fail even the realization of what made you fail would get you closer to the winning and being lucky. You are not unlucky that you don’t have the right employment, but unlucky that you do not possess the right skills required for the job. You are unlucky in a relationship because the basic assumption on which the relationship was based had intrinsic errors and would have anyways not worked. If you fall sick, it is the infection around the environment that has played its role. In our life we are always surrounded with microorganism, they are part of our life. But they can only infect us only when our immunity is weak, and it can happen to anybody. You are unlucky only to the extent that you were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Antidote for ‘I am Unlucky’ Bergens is to keep fighting like a warrior. Keep fighting these battles with the best of your spirit and abilities. You may have setbacks in the journey, small defeats in between but you will win the war at large. Remember that at the end “Haar Kar Jitney waley ko hi Bazigaar kahtain Hain “

5.      ‘I am sick’ Bergens: It is natural at some point to get concerned about one’s health and take necessary precaution. But these are Bergens who are overly concerned with variety of symptoms and even normal body function seems to worry them. Technically this is called Hypochondria, mental disorder in which people believe or fear that they have a serious disease even though medical examination or tests show no signs of illness. There is no specific reason for such behaviors, but probably may happen with people who has remain sick for a long period of time or have been with sick people for long. They will always feel miserable about their health. They will feel very comfortable with people who would show them sympathy and reinforce their view of being ill, however they would avoid encounter with people who ignore their illness and suggest ways on keeping good health without needing medical attention.

Antidote for “I am Sick” Bergens to be happy is to have a mindset change about their wellbeing. For that they can spend time with people who are more miserable than them, to see how they are fighting against all odds in life. See those people who despite being severely challenged with health issues are not fortunate to get the best of medical care, still they value the life they have and keep the fight on with every breath.

Just getting back to the story of Trolls, the Bergens continued to be unhappy as they could not eat Trolls on the Trollistic. The Prince Gristle Jr could not be happy for 20 years as he had not eaten a Troll. There was “No Trolls left behind “for him. After 20 years again, he thought he a had a chance to eat a Troll and be happy. But the Troll Prince Poppy made him realize that the “Happiness is inside all of us “. Sometimes you need someone to find it out for you. The Bergens experience real happiness without even eating a Troll. Must see the movie to enjoy this bit.

But for all the above present-day Bergin I mentioned, I am afraid I do not have a Troll that you can eat and be happy. That would have been so easy to make you happy.  So, the choice is being unhappy all your life and be miserable for 20 years like the original Bergen or behave like the Trolls. The only think that made a difference to their life was the ability to -Sing, dance and hug! It is true for you as well. Life is a song, just keep singing don’t worry about the voice and chores. Dance your way through all the challenges in life, believe me challenges are reason to make you unhappy, if you have the will and desire to get over it, you will generate the power to overcome it. As I said Happiness is inside all of us, but do not behave like the Bergin and wait for someone to help you find that. It may take 20 years! You must find your way to happiness. If I want to be a Bergin, I will have a million reasons not to be happy, but to be happy one single reason is strong and good enough. 

If you Bergens still feel that only eating a Troll will make you happy, just remember “No Trolls left behind”

Good luck and Happy Living 

Robin